10. The Lockout Will Be Dallas's Fault
When LeBron James announced he was teaming up with Dwyane Wade, everyone bemoaned the end of an era: when superstars stayed with the teams that drafted them and won titles (Michael Jordan) or didn’t (Patrick Ewing) on their own. Meanwhile, it’s the Mavs who’ve been spending like mad, treating the salary cap like a 55-miles-per-hour speed limit sign. The end may indeed be nigh—but not because of the Heat.
9. LeBron With a Ring Will Be Insufferable
Yes, this sounds like a reason to root AGAINST the Heat. After all, LeBron without a ring is insufferable enough — with one, he’ll be the, um, Michael Jordan of insufferability. That said, there’s one thing worse than LeBron James with a ring, and that’s Mark Cuban with a ring. Go Heat
8. Do It for Big Z
If there’s anyone in this whole matchup who deserves a ring, it’s aging Heat center (and future James Bond villain) Zydrunas Ilgauskas. An All-Star in Cleveland before LeBron ever arrived, he suffered through Waltonesque foot problems before becoming a durable and dependable option. Win one for the, uh, Zipper
7. Miami = Parties
Yeah, fine, Dallas can do celebrations — after all, they’ve seen plenty of Super Bowl champs. But when it comes to mass drunkenness, celebrity arrests and TMZ-worthy disasterpieces, no one does it quite like Miami. In fact, the afterparties would probably draw better ratings (and more Kardashians) than the Finals themselves.
6. It's Fun When the Bad Guys Win
Why is is that we always have to see the bad guy lose? Redemption and revenge are wonderful storylines and all, but sometimes you just want the alleged good guys to go down instead. What would be more fun—Dirk Nowitzki celebrating his first title, or Dirk Nowitzki heading back out to the outback with only his guitar, a tent, and Holger Geschwinder, to grow a beard and ponder yet another soul-crushing loss? Maybe it’s just us.
5. Let's Get It Started
If LeBron truly is ever going to challenge Michael Jordan for the title of “Greatest Ever,” he needs to start winning titles, like, yesterday. Sure he’s still only 26, but he’s logged nearly 30,000 NBA minutes played already and has been fortunate to remain nearly injury-free. He might need to win titles every year from now until he retires to catch Mike. Let's make things interesting.
4. Everybody Hates Chris
Few All-Stars in their prime have endured the ridicule that Chris Bosh has. The “soft!” whisperers were out during his time in Toronto, but it all came to a crescendo when he signed on with the Heat as a max-money third wheel. Beating the Bulls as arguably the Heat’s best player was nice—but slipping a championship ring onto his middle finger and flipping off the haters would be the best vindication of all.
3. Save Eric Spoelstra
One would imagine that Erik Spoelstra has built up some impressive job security by now. Fans who were screaming for his head when the Heat came out of the box slowly back in November now giddily listen to his clichéd coachspeak on TNT and ESPN as visions of championships dance through their heads. But with Pat Riley still holding the strings, he’d better close this thing out with four more wins—or update his résumé.
2. Support Chaos!
Dallas—besides their insane payroll—represents the old way of doing things. Acquire a star as a draft pick (good going, Milwaukee), and try different combinations of unproven youngsters and discarded vets until something clicks. The Heat are the new way—get your superstars ready-made, use the regular season to gel, then wreck shop in the playoffs. If the Heat win, expect more of the same. Who doesn’t like player movement? Aside from fans of the New Orleans Hornets and the Orlando Magic
1. The Victory Parade Will Be Ridiculous
The Heat pretty much already celebrated their first championship back in the summer when they introduced LeBron and Bosh (and re-introduced Dwyane Wade—some of their fans don’t pay that close attention) to an adoring public. There was smoke, there was pomp, there was posturing that even Muhammad Ali would have shaken his head at. So what will they do to top that? What the hell, let’s find out.
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